is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
