I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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