I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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