Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
