didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
