If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
