Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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