Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
