So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
