I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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