Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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