I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
