I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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