we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
