I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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