Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
