R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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