wat bout pragnant strippers??
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
