I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
