please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
