Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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