If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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