Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
