From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
