(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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