Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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