i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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