I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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