I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
only you would photoshop your dick
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
