idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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