Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
