You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
