people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
