please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
