Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
