I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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