my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
