i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
