i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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