your room smells of hookers.
And success
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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