I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i jhust puked up my retainher.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
