I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Can Purell be used as lube?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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