I am puke
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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