It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
