Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
