I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
