We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
