omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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