I want to stick my p in your. b.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
