Screwed.edu
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
