I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
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We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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