K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
