and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
