pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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