His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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