I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
