i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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