next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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