my vag is so smooth its legendary
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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