Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
