Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
