it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
