There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
