dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
