If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Blood and glitter go together right?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
