2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
