Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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