Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
