Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
nutella sex= disaster
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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