I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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